This is what happened today: I'm trying very hard to restrict but I can't because I'm too damn hungry. I can't even get that right. Last night was the first night in months that I wished I wouldn't wake up this morning. I did wake up so here I am. I went to self ass at the hospital, then DBT and an appointment with my therapist. I'm sick of being borderline, this has been going on way too long. I'm sick of being surrounded by other borderlines. I'm really pissed that I am exposed to a peer that attempted an overdose. I'm really sad about my move. I would give anything to get married. I hate facebook, it's depressing.
I'm struggling with what to write. I have so much to say.
1. I've been in various forms of treatment for the last three years.
2. First I had a therapist, then came the psychiatrist, then another psychiatrist. Then a partial program that seemed to make things work, then I ended up in the hospital.
3. I never believed I'd be in a psychiatric hospital.
4. I spent a week there, went to a residential program
5. Got kicked out of the residential program for having razors and using them to cut myself
6. Had a fight with my new therapist who left me to languish in the hospital for three weeks.
7. Entered the Borderline program and moved to a residence on grounds.
eh this is exhausting.
need to go to sleep...seraquel is kicking in.....
